In a world full of boys, even full-grown men who act completely immature, being a true ‘gentleman’ seems to be a fading art form. When you compare the way twenty somethings and even thirty somethings used to act just 40 or 50 years ago to how they are acting today, you would see a stark contrast.
Back in the 1940s, 50s, and even into parts of the 1960s, true gentlemen really knew how to act in public, how to act on a date, and how to treat other people, whether they were friends or strangers.
Today, men in their 20s and 30s may still be living at home, making crass fart related jokes in public, and acting like they’re still freshmen in high school. The sad part is most of these men aren’t even aware that they are acting completely immature and nowhere near a gentleman.
Younger women may have a preference for the ‘bad boys’ in the world, but that usually wears off pretty quick when they get into a serious relationship. For men who really want to improve themselves, here are six tips on how to be a gentleman, regardless of what year it is.
Tip #1: A true gentleman focuses on more than just appearances.
Young boys focus on how a woman looks and don’t really care whether she is intelligent, articulate, or caring. A true gentleman wants to date somebody who has depth of character and not necessarily the most drop-dead gorgeous looks.
Tip #2: A true gentleman knows how to talk to a real woman.
Being crass, wolf whistling, talking dirty when they first meet a woman, gawking at them, and more are all behaviors that would be more expected of an immature, juvenile high school student than a true gentleman.
A true gentleman understands that conversation is the best way to learn about somebody. They ask questions, pay attention to what the other person is saying, and avoid the dirty, barroom humor when in a different environment. They may have a tendency to hang out with their friends from high school well into their 20s and 30s, but that should be relegated to their ‘man cave’ or their local pub.
Tip #3: A true gentleman knows how to open doors.
A true gentleman knows that opening doors for women, strangers, and other people is simply polite. They also understand that when they do open the door and walk through it, it is extremely polite to hold it open for the person behind them.
If you’re dating somebody who has a tendency to just fling open the door and walk through it without allowing you to pass first or being concerned whether it hits you before you can get ready to hold it, then you’re not dating a true gentleman.
Tip #4: A true gentleman knows how to dress the part.
Forget pants that are hanging halfway down the backside, torn jeans, sneakers that seem to be older than he is; a true gentleman knows how to dress and act the part. This means dressing in nice slacks, a dress shirt, and maybe even a tie if the occasion calls for it.
That doesn’t mean he can’t dress comfortably or even lounge around in sweatpants on a Saturday afternoon. However, if he is constantly looking as though he hasn’t worked in 10 years, he might not really care about his own appearances and, as a result, he might not care about much of anything else or anyone else.
Tip #5: A true gentleman is direct.
True gentlemen don’t play head games with their partners, friends, or family members. They tell you exactly what is on their mind, but they also understand how to use tact when necessary.
Tip #6: A true gentleman knows how to trust.
There are plenty of men out there who are extremely jealous when their girlfriends or wives go out with her friends, talk to other guys, and more. If they don’t trust their partner, they are not a true gentleman.
They are controlling and possessive and that is not the foundation for a healthy relationship.
Written by G. T. Hedlund